A Moment of Amity
by BlackFireRaevyn
Summary: A one-shot Bellarke: After Clarke escapes the Grounders she and Bellamy share a moment in the infirmary.


**A Moment of Amity**

Clarke was lying in the makeshift infirmary after having escaped the Grounders for a second time and making it back to camp with Finn in tow.

Once Octavia had stitched up the wounds she couldn't get to herself a curtain was put up to give her privacy and Bellamy ordered her to get some rest…the only order she was happy to oblige.

The sound of boots walking through the infirmary pulled Clarke from her slumber. She listened as the boots moved closer to where she was laying and jerked in surprise when the curtain pulled open. She let out a small sigh and relaxed when she saw it was Bellamy.

"How ya doin' princess?"

"Few cuts and bruises. I'll be fine. It could've been a lot worse."

"I wasn't really talking physically. Finn mentioned that the last time he saw you, you were left alone in a room with a very big Grounder," Bellamy said, making sure to catch her eye before he continued, "I'm gonna ask you again. How are you doing?"

Clarke stared at him blankly for a moment before she realized what it was he was actually asking.

She shook her head and with a doleful smile said, "Nothing like that happened."

Bellamy gave a small nod before taking a seat beside her on the small mattress, his demeanor indicating that he was bracing for a fight.

"Look, if this is about me making the decision to not go out after you—"

"No," Clarke assured him immediately, "I get the reasons behind that. It wasn't safe and we couldn't afford to lose anyone else. Finn and I could have been anywhere and you'd have no idea which direction to start looking in. I would have done the same."

"Then what is it? You've been holding something back ever since you returned. It's like you've got this wall up. I mean, you usually do but this one's like concrete, like you're refusing to let anything in or out," Bellamy observed, looking at her in a way that made her feel as though he could see right through her no matter how may walls she put u or what they may have been made of.

Clarke remained silent for a few minutes, her eyes not meeting his. Just when Bellamy was sure she was going to refuse to answer before telling him to back off, the blonde surprised him.

"I've been afraid to tell anyone," she started softly, "I feel like some of them will judge me and some of them will want to pat me on the back saying, 'good job'."

Clarke's eyes had yet to meet Bellamy's as they remained lowered toward her hands. Bellamy looked down to see her fingers playing anxiously with a piece of the blanket laying on top of her. In a very un-Bellamy like move, he took hold of one of her hands with his, leading Clarke to look up at him in surprise.

"You can tell me. I promise not to do either. If you don't want it to be me I can get Finn in here. I just think you gotta get whatever this is off your chest and out of your head. I'm gonna need you to help wrangle the masses."

"I can't go to Finn with this," Clarke protested, "Assuming he doesn't judge me I don't want to deal with the guilt that I'm sure he'll feel for not being able to keep me from the situation."

"Then talk to me. We both know I'm the last person on earth that can judge you," Bellamy pressed.

Clarke took a deep breath and looked away from him once more, gathering the courage to tell the story.

"After they took Finn away I was left with the Grounder. I wondered why they didn't just kill me. Why Anya would want to keep me alive and he reminded me that they needed a healer. Then he told me about the attack that was going to come and I knew I had to get out of there. I knew it might be too late for Finn but you guys had a chance. I had to make it back," Clarke started an earnestness in her eyes as they met Bellamy's, pleading with him to understand.

Bellamy gave her a supportive nod to continue.

"I distracted him and kept him talking. He boasted about how he'd made a lot of kills even after he hurt his knee. That's what gave me the idea."

Clarke paused, swallowing and Bellamy gave the hand he still held a gentle squeeze, signaling her to take her time.

"I trained with my mother. I was going to be a doctor, a healer. That's my job here as well. To help people, fix them," Clarke continued, knowing she was already telling him things he knew but needing him to completely understand where she was coming from. "When you're being taught to heal, you're taught anatomy of the human body to better understand how to treat someone. That's the way you're supposed to think but in that moment….in that moment I understood that conversely that knowledge of the human anatomy is also what can help you hurt people. I'd seen the grounder limping earlier. I knew which leg and exactly where to strike and that's what I did. And when he went down I took a scalpel and used it to slash his throat in a place I knew would make him bleed out quickly. But it didn't end there. I couldn't have him yelling or making noise that would alert anyone else so I put my hand over his mouth to keep him quiet and I looked into his eyes as he died. I watched that light go out."

Clarke looked quickly at Bellamy to make sure he was still with her and saw understanding in his eyes before she looked away.

"It wasn't killing him that's on my conscience. It's that…I—"

"That you're okay with it. Killing him isn't what's bothering you. The fact that you're okay with what you did is what's bothering you," Bellamy finished for her.

Clarke nodded, knowing somewhat intuitively that Bellamy _would_ understand what she had been trying to say.

"Hey," Bellamy said, gaining her attention when she remained silent too long.

As she watched, Bellamy took the hand he had been holding and, in another very un-Bellamy like comforting act, he brought it to his lips and placed a soft kiss.

"Thank you."

"Thank you? What for? Killing a man?" Clarke asked incredulously.

"No," Bellamy shook his head somberly, "for surviving. And for trusting me with this. This isn't me patting you on the back for killing a Grounder. This is me thanking you for being you and making it back here alive. I mean, really, who else am I gonna find that can attempt to keep me in line?"

Bellamy chuckled and Clarke followed suit, the sound strange to her ears but not unwelcome.

"Yeah, that's me. I'm like the ultimate babysitter except I don't get paid," Clarke chuckled again.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Princess. Try to get some rest."

Bellamy released her hand and stood to make his way out of the infirmary but stopped when she called to him.

"Bellamy?"

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her and a softness that he'd never before seen graced her features.

"Thank you."

'Your welcome' didn't feel right to Bellamy so instead he gave a small side-smile and nodded his head before turning and going on his way.

When he was gone Clarke let out an exhausted sigh and rolled to her side. Closing her eyes she brought the hand that Bellamy had kissed up to her chest, pressing it against her heart as sleep overtook her.


End file.
